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about

This song is about all the perks of having free water included in your rent and the ways that you can take advantage of it. This song was inspired by all of the prank calls we've done to apartment managers where we make outrageous claims about things we've done inside of our apartments. And THOSE calls were inspired by a comic strip by Toothpaste For Dinner, so basically the TFD guy wrote this song.

This song began it's birth around October of 2012, according to the dates on the file names, and was finished on September 21st, 2013. The music and lyrics were done by RBCP.

lyrics

I moved in to my new apartment at the end of February,
Surprised to find that the water was free,
The lady in the office said it's included in the rent,
Use it as much as you want, I had their total consent.

Now I'm saving extra money on the monthly expenses,
Filling up bottles of water as fast as my sink dispenses,
I flush the toilet seven times every time that I pee,
I may as well, it helps my local water municipality.

(chorus)
Free water every single day at,
Oak View Apartments in Green Bay and,
I've read my contract all the way though and,
There's nothing that my landlord can do.

Free water every single day at,
Oak View Apartments in Green Bay and,
My rent never will increase because,
I'm locked in to a long term lease.

I bought a fountain for my living room and man it is beautiful,
It's nearly eight feet tall and has a full working waterfall,
I ran the water lines through the walls under my bathroom sink,
It runs twenty-four hours a day and hardly ever even leaks.

I have a black market shower head for better pressure while showering,
Which I leave running all the time, making the bathtub self-cleaning,
I've got free air conditioning using the ice from my fridge,
With copper tubes on a fan wrapped around the front of it.

But running the fan all the time used up too much energy,
So I'm using a water-powered turbine just to keep the fan spinning,
And cooling the ice in the freezer made my power bill higher,
So I've made another turbine using parts from my dryer.

With a water reservoir hidden out on my balcony,
I'm piping water through a generator for free electricity,
I flush trash down my toilet to save money on garbage bags,
Which is really convenient because its such a long walk to the dumpster, man.

Free water every single day at,
Oak View Apartments in Green Bay and,
I've read my contract all the way though and,
There's nothing that my landlord can do.

Free water every single day at,
Oak View Apartments in Green Bay and,
My rent never will increase because,
I'm locked in to a long term lease.

Free water every single day at,
Oak View Apartments in Green Bay and,
I know the landlord would have a fit,
If he knew i ran my washer for the hell of it.

Free water every single day at,
Oak View Apartments in Green Bay and,
I wish I wasn't on the second floor because,
Water's leaking from my reservoir.

I've got a dam in my kitchen that can power my oven,
And runs my Kitchenaid mixer at the push of a button,
There are tracks carrying water that just go on forever,
Running all over the walls, it looks like something by M.C. Escher.

I'm selling bottled ice water at major sporting events,
Making more than enough money than I need for my rent,
Quenching the thirst of the fans helping them deal with the heat,
I'm giving the Aquafina man a fuckin' run for his money

My brother-in-law is paying me fifty dollars,
To fill his pool with 25,000 gallons of water,
But when I'm not building a model rain forest in my bathtub,
I'm mailing bottles of clean water all the way to Africa.

And doing scientific experiments with foil and gallium,
Mixing them carefully with water so I can make hydrogen,
I hope my city doesn't mind losing their water monopoly,
Because I've applied for a permit to start my own water company.

Free water every single day at,
Oak View Apartments in Green Bay and,
I've read my contract all the way though and,
There's nothing that my landlord can do.

Free water every single day at,
Oak View Apartments in Green Bay and,
My rent never will increase because,
I'm locked in to a long term lease.

Free water every single day at,
Oak View Apartments in Green Bay and,
The clothes I'm wearing now are really clean because,
They're in the washer almost constantly.

Free water every single day at,
Oak View Apartments in Green Bay and,
It's been fun trying brand new things like,
Full-scale model ice sculpting.

credits

released September 21, 2013
Lyrics & music all by big stupid Brad

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Redbox and the Chilipeppers Albany, Oregon

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