This is my sequel to the 1980′s hit called 867-5309. All the music and the chorus is obviously stolen from the original song. The lead singer’s wife really is named Lisa, so not only am I stealing his music, but I’m also calling his wife a slut, increasing my asshole points by 37!
View the video for this song here: www.youtube.com/watch?v=enVN24ZES9s
When I was a kid my friend Tommy told me,
He had a thing for this girl whose name was Jenny,
They ended up together and she made him happy,
She was the only one he could turn to, God it was sappy.
He talked about her often but i began to wonder,
Why the fascination with her telephone number,
He'd never shut up and said it all the time,
So early last year i found out they broke up,
And Tommy was married to some Lisa slut,
And I'm single now so this must be a sign,
Fuck the bro code, Jenny will be mine.
Jenny don't change her number Tommy used to say,
So i whipped out my cell phone and dialed away,
A woman answered but it wasn't her,
She told me that I had the wrong telephone number.
Jenny's number did change as luck would have it,
She must have been affected by the area code split,
But I didn't care and I wasn't slowed,
I hung up and tried the 916 area code.
The next girl I reached sounded cuter than the last,
Her name wasn't Jenny but she had a lot of class,
We talked for days and then we finally met,
Imagine my surprise to find out she was a midget.
We dated for months and i couldn't comprehend,
Why her parents even liked me and so did her friends,
She was a great girl, I became restless though,
We broke up and I moved on to area code 530.
530 was a mistake to call,
Turns out it was the president's bomb shelter,
Asking for Jenny was the code to launch the nukes,
And soon my house was filled with these government spooks.
I spent a half a year in solitary confinement,
Til i made a deal with them and got a secret assignment,
I can't talk about that too much though,
Besides i need to get back to calling area codes.
Things got serious with me and Kate,
She's the girl I met when calling 858,
Then she found me stalking the girl in 619,
With my telephoto lens and my taps on her phone line.
619 wouldn't tell me who she was,
So I figured she was Jenny trying to cover it up,
I found out later she was telling the truth,
When the restraining order showed her name was Sue.
I met this crazy chick when I called 206,
She liked me though the phone sex was way too quick,
So I moved on to Britney in the 303,
But ditched her right away cause Britney was a he.
I've got hoes in different area codes just like Ludacris,
I should probably just stop and just call it quits,
But I won't stop calling until I find Jenny,
Like The Lawnmower Man I'll make every single phone ring.
released August 25, 2011
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